ENTRY NINE

October 10, 2018

I wrote this for my English Class

The gifts of Solitude

Solitude as defined by the dictionary is the quality or state of being alone or remote from society. When I read this it seems like solitude is sad, negative and depressing. I have met many that agree. However, I find that a bit odd. Yes, solitude can be depressing but being alone isn’t all bad. There are great reasons to be in love or enjoy solitude.

I, personally enjoy solitude. Why? First of all, solitude gives me the gift of silence. When I become too busy in life, schoolwork, social and family life plus when there is a lot going on inside and outside of my head, it just makes me overwhelmed. Silence just gives me a chance to breath. Not just to breath, but consciously. Each breath taken in calms me down, each breath being released relaxes me. Silence allows me to take a step back and see the bigger picture to know what is really going on and to see what is the most important and most urgent. In schoolwork, I am able to weigh it all in and prioritize making me more efficient and effective reaching optimum productivity.

 Second, solitude gives me the gift of observation. Have you ever wondered what your world is really like? Have you ever stop and look at the trees, the sky or the birds? Have you? When in solitude one can now make keen observation on his or her world with full attention. Now, one is able to get all the details and not just glimpses. This is very important to us because we live in a fast paced world where everyone is either working too  hard or multitasking. We tend to forget to just stop, look and sometimes to even listen. Nature has always been whispering to us, the gush of the wind on the leaves, the sun beaming down on us, the tender sky when it’s dark, the stars glistening at night and so much more.

Lastly, solitude gives me the gift of independence. Independence? Let me explain. I shall explain with a little back story on me. In high school I surrounded myself with my best of friends and wherever they go I go. But before stepping on senior high my friends and I decided to part ways so it left me on my own. It was horrible like a stinking sinking eerie feeling inside of my chest. I realize I depended on them too much for my own good. However, as the introvert being that I am I embraced solitude and it was liberating. I was able to find who I was beyond the ties and relationships I created with my friends. But don’t worry, I am still very close with then and I get to see them on a daily basis. In addition, with the gift of independence I was able to make friends in senior high. It was a win-win situation.  

Solitude is indeed great and beneficial for the overall growth of a person. Hence, I suggest it to anyone and everybody. Maybe in the process of your journey with solitude it might give you your own set of gifts.

xoxo

ENTRY EIGHT

October 9, 2018

I wrote this for my English class.

" All human activities aim at some good. Every art and human inquiry, and similarly every action and pursuit, it is thought to at some good; and for this reason the good has been rightly declared as that at which all things aim." (Nicomachean Ethics 2:2)

I believe in the good life.

          Have you ever been asked, what if you could choose to be born in a different era, what would you pick? Or have you ever wished you were born in a different decade? I sometimes do.

          To be born in a completely different world is a wild concept that I so like to marvel at. Why? Well, the choices are endless from the agricultural revolution to the modern globalized world of today. Try it, imagine being alive in the time of Martial Law. It wasn’t best of times. But what would have it been like? Aren’t you curious? Or the time before all technology was invented and the internet was non-existent, it was a simpler time. What would have it been like?

          For me, I chose the time of the Greeks. Why? Why would one choose an era which is long dead and unheard of except in books? Let me explain. First, the time of the Greeks was a time of inquiry. Everybody asked questions. What is a human being? Why are we alive? What is life? How should one do with his life? What is good in this life? Greeks asked a lot of questions that shaped the way they value life. And they value it very highly. I value life as they value it. I value the good life. I value in living well and doing well.

          If you make me chose between two lives. One is that I could live for about 85 years but I would live in pain, sadness and in regret, a life where I would be drowning in self-pity and the victim game. Oh! I wish I didn’t do this or that. Oh! I was born in a less able family. I didn’t have much growing up. All people are dumb. People hate me and I hate them. Or I could live for about 20 years and I would live it in love, goodness and harmony. I would spend my days choosing to make positive impact and changes that flourishes me and others. I would chose to live 20 years short but worthwhile. I picked as the Greeks did. I value a good quality of life rather than the sanctity of life, short but worthwhile.

Second, since they believe in the good life, attaining the good life is finding your happiness and purpose not in material pleasure and anything superficial but in truth. Things that is intangible. As I quote from the Little Prince “What is essential is invisible to the naked eye.”

Lastly, the good life comes from living a life of virtue, of kindness. Each one of us has the capacity to be kind only if one chooses to practice it.

In conclusion, I chose the era of the Greeks because they believe in what is important. Our society has become too toxic. I feel suffocated and trapped because I feel like every move I make is being carefully watched, monitored so when finally do make a mistake they pounce on like a lion. So maybe if we think like the Greeks, just maybe, things might change.

xoxo

ENTRY SEVEN

September 25, 2018

I wrote this for my English class.

Living a zero waste life

          The zero waste lifestyle is an emerging culture among concerned individuals towards the environment. According to Lauren Singer, environmental activist and entrepreneur, zero waste is a persona thing that means she doesn’t create any trash or landfill trash. To her it is to make a positive environmental impact on earth and leave it a better place than it was when she entered it. And she has been living consciously for the past six years. She has only accumulated a Mason jar size of trashes.

          So how does one go zero waste? As for Lauren, the first thing she ever did was to examine her trash can. The best way to minimize your trash is to learn what exactly stuff you are sending to landfills. When Lauren evaluated her trash, she saw 3 sources or culprits. These were the plastic food packaging, hygiene products and organic food waste. Thereafter, she stopped buying packaged food. She opts to bringing her own produce bags, mason jars and she fills them up at bulk stores. As for her fresh produce, she goes to her local farmer’s market. For her hygiene products, she does the DIY projects. She makes her own toothpaste, detergents, soaps, and basically everything. All of her clothes are either second-hand or made out of pure cotton and not synthetic fibers. Lastly, she says no to one time use plastics.

          Why, but why? Why would someone go to extreme lengths besides the obvious help it does to our environment? Then let me explain, first, Lauren is able to save money. She has proven that you can live sustainably without bankrupt. For example, she buys second hand clothing items that are way cheaper than fast fashion. She also doesn’t buy products/foods with packaging because she says that 15% of the product cost is embedded by the packaging. Second, she eats a lot better. Most packaged food in the market is processed foods full of chemicals and things that are not good for you and the environment. As a result, her diet improved and her weight stabilized. Thirdly, she compost. Bonnie Plants explains that composting is a natural process of recycling organic materials such as leaves and vegetables scraps into a rich soil. Lastly, her decision to change her lifestyle inspired many to change and live sustain ably. Her decisions made a massive impact. Hence, it keeps a lot of plastics from the ocean, landfills and the sewage. But don’t get me wrong, you don’t have to immediately buy produce bags, throw all of your clothes and household item away. Let me explain, living zero waste is a decision to make better choices for you, the community and the environment. As Lauren Singer says going zero waste doesn’t happen overnight and that it will take a lot of time to learn these practices. Eventually, it becomes second nature to you to help the environment. I do hope so in the efforts of the likes of Lauren Singer and others, our carbon footprint and trash would be a thing in past. 



xoxo,
J.A.A.

ENTRY SIX

January 19, 2016

I wrote this a long time ago as you can read above. I forgot what its all about but I was definitely was going through something. I edited it. Haha

Here it goes....

                   Emotions, emotions, emotions. They re unimaginable and unmanageable part of a human brain. Curse this brain. Curse this heart. Sadness, Happiness, Loneliness, Jealousy, Envy, Madness, Anger, Anxiety, Fears, Alienation. And I sure know how to get lost through these whirlwind, what can I say its just too easy. We can call it a hurricane, tsunami or even an earthquake cause its so catastrophic and dangerous. Afterwards it just leaves me more in a terrible condition. I know how to get engrossed in them until I suffocate choking on my own self made pity. Intoxicating on my own promises of I'll do better, I'll pick myself up again, I'll learn. Lies. Lies. Lies. Lies. I never felt as if I really did became a better version of myself. I do feel that its better than nothing, I guess or so I tell myself. I mean, self-discovery is a long journey and it doesn't even have an ending. So maybe, just maybe, these monsters inside of me might take a longer time. But nonetheless, I do feel hope. I feel like I am under construction. You know, you're still in the process stage, building and building. But its drowning me, I can tell you that with certainty. Its killing me, tearing me bit by bit, then on my own weak power yet again I foolishly built it up again. But when you are pass out on the floor you realize something, that emotion are good. Emotions are something purely out of a human being, means I am human, real and alive. Maybe there i something extra ordinarily beautiful with a human who is honest to herself. There is beauty in a human that knows these emotions are humanly emotions and are just part of us. It doesn't make us vulnerable but stronger. We don't just feel.  We feel because we are humans. I can connect with others, understand them, empathize with them and share with them. I feel because I am alive. A little rainbow beneath all this emotions thats killing me. I like emotions they make me feel real. 

xoxo, 

J.A.A. 

ENTRY FIVE

September 26, 2018

I wrote this a long time a go. I poured how I felt about my someone. That someone doesn't actually smoke pot or weed. Please do not make negative assumptions of me. I simply wrote it for me to release some tension inside me. Ps. this is an edited version of the original. 

"The heart of a patḗr is the masterpiece of nature" - some quote off google images

No title

Things are fucked up

I guess the only way now is up

Go ahead

Enjoy the show

Look!

Look at their disapproving faces

The alcohol just sips right through

Your senses and morality

It numbs you

Reality is, I would pretend you're dead

I wouldn't even cry at your deathbed

Don't be sad

One might shed a tear

but it won't be me

You are wrong

You've made mistakes

It is time to makeup for it

Listen!

Listen to the convictions

Cocaine up in your system

Marijuana up in your heart

You reek of that scent

Full of shitty lies

Making an heart ache scent

xoxo,

J.A.A.

Entry FOUR

No date

I wrote a story a long time ago. I decided that I will not edit this or whatsoever because well just because. This is the original version so if you see any grammatical errors, wrong spellings, and such that is because I wrote this when I was 13 years old. Here it goes.

Lost in the past

There is a girl named Chiaki Fukugawa. She is a very funny, active girl who is clumsy and always make mistakes. But 5 yrs ago when she was eigth years old when everything in her life torn apart. A past that she never wants to go back. But what if one mistake take her back to that time & has an opportunity to change that? What will she do? 

One Sunday morning Chiaki wakes up and find herself laying on the floor. She got up and dress herself and goes to school. And after school she will be playing soccer w/ her friends. That's her routine everyday and her life goes on like that. When she got to the last subject of the day. Her teacher asked her to go to the faculty. When she got to the faculty. Nobody was there. It was empty but when she turn around. A flash of light burst and she felt a presence at her back. She turn around and saw a hooded figure. Suddenly she felt herself float. And she was falling off a building, next she was falling of a cliff, and next she was falling off the Aiffal tower. She was screaming asking for help. But suddenly it stop and she fell into a trash can. She got up & a flash of memory came to her. A woman's scream and a fire starting. But as she heard the scream it stopped. She ran and ran trying to find her way back to school. But an old lady came to her. Pulled her close and whisper. What are you doing? She pulled herself away from the lady. She was scared. Because the lady seems to be dangerous. But the women only gave a smirk and pointed at the right side of the road. Chiaki looked at the right & at the women again and at the old lady again & finally she decided to follow the woman's directions. She kept running and running. Until she saw the cafe next to her school. As she saw that she run faster, panting really hard. She can feel the cold breeze in her ears'. Until everything change. She stopped and she saw a flash of light and a siren. And she fell on the floor. It was night. And she scream because the flash of light was a truck coming at her way but the truck just went through her. She was at a highway. Alone & cold. And a memory went through her mind. The scream again. She cover her ears, crying, and screaming. But it stopped and she kept running until she saw a dog. Because she is scared, she needed a companion. She rub the dog's hair. She heard her name in the far distance. She turn around. She heard it again. CHIAKI!!!!, louder this time. She followed the voice and it led her to the forest. And she saw a cliff.  A car stuck in the mud. And the scream once again. She walked to the car. And she saw inside the car. A pair of magazine The magazine was dated Sept. 16, 1998. At that time she was eigth years old. She runned to the other side of the car and saw a lot of blood stain. And she opened the door and a name called out she turn around. She was a hooded figure coming close to her. She was so scared & she went inside the car. She saw a watch & it was not working. Suddenly it moved. And in a flash the hooded figure was infront of her. 

Hooded Figure: Chiaki? Why do desire so much to forget the past? And because of that I have taken you here.

Chiaki crying. Answer the hooded figure. 

Chiaki: Why? Why do you care?

And the hooded figure took off her hood. And Chiaki let out a scream and went to the other side of the car. The hooded figure was her. A much older version of her around the 20's.

Hooded figure: It was not your fault. If you keep blaming yourself. You'll never be able to reach our goals. 

Chiaki move a little more away from her older self. She felt shoes. water, mud. But when she grab something. She had grab a ribbon, full of blood. It was her mother's. She cried more. 

The end.

xoxo

J.A.A. 

Entry THREE

December 5, 2017

I wrote a paper sometime ago. This is an edited version. Here it goes

I smoked 3 packs a day. Nobody really taught me, somehow I knew. I learned it too quickly and too easily. It was like a baby's first words. Here go the cigar to my mouth one after the other. For this reason, after years of smoking 3 packs a day I am now lying on my death bed.

As a result of my actions, I have spent my remaining days staring at the grayed speckled walls of my hospital room, laying on my white sheets and bed. Everyday I get to eat the same boring hospital food entirely bland. Everyday I get to see the same faces of my nurse and doctor. They look lovely and eager to take care of me but they bring a sad note to me. They remind me of my former self; alive, free, and mostly young. So everyday I feel this burning and gaping hole in my chest telling me that I have made a terrible mistake.

Smoking robbed me of my life. Sure, it did give me pleasure from each cigar that I lit on fire but it was a sneaky thief. A thief that pretended to be my friend. I was wrong. 

xoxo

J.A.A.